January 2009
12 posts
I Am Officially Sick of Snow
MEOW MIX!!
Take this Shiba Inus! KITTY CAM!
Wait, no Shiba Inus, IstillloveyouIdidn’tmeanitcan’twebefriendsagain…?!?!
I Thought Obama Would Scratch The Hard-To-Reach...
Create your own! What did you think Obama would do?
Reason #9584739568701 England Rules
Because someone there can say “Oh, yes, sure, just round the corner in Crapstone. The town just over from Pennistone? You don’t know Crotch Crescent, either?”
BUGGER OFF.
Date a Cheap Skate!
Yeah, jerks, it IS a recession—so who the hell is paying this asshat to write this drivel?? (This drivel being recession dating tips.) FIRST of all, I’m pretty sure it’s somehow documented that people get laid off in a recession and promptly channel their energy into getting laid. So leave the lameass dating tips at home and go get drunk at a bar/party/opening/street. The...
Do Over!
Remember how historic it was that Obama got sworn in? Stood on those steps flanked by his cutsie daughters and stuff? Like ONCE IN A LIFETIME, am I right?
No.
He and Roberts did a do-over after Roberts was a huge asshole and made Barry bumble his words. When Roberts asked “Are you ready to take the oath?” Cool-as-a-cucumber prez said “I am. And we’re going to do it very...
Oskurs
No Rev Road shout outs? I mean, barely? That’s a damn shame. Here’s who I want to win.
BEST PICTURE “Slumdog Millionaire”
BEST ACTRESS Kate Winslet, “The Reader”
BEST ACTOR Mickey Rourke, “The Wrestler”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Viola Davis, “Doubt”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Michael Shannon, “Revolutionary Road”
BEST DIRECTOR Danny Boyle, “Slumdog Millionaire”
BEST FOREIGN...
Facebook Stati You Never Want to See
Take note, people. And ammend FB updates as needed. (LYLAS, Joce & Justin)
______ is washing the cum out of her hair.
______ is dealing with her miscarriage.
______ just bought a new razor and is running a warm bath.
______ doesn’t think his new meds are working (!!!).
______ didn’t want to go to your stupid party anyway, KEITH.
______ is waiting for his test results at the...
“With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what...”
– barry (cheesy but i don’t care)
FUCK.
I just chipped a tooth.
Can I Get Some Fries With That Shake-Shake Booty??
As we all know (only too well at this point), Barry is one fit man. That surf in Hawaii was very lucky… surf. Because I am the coolest kid around, I subscribe to an email service that offers up such recipes as “Papa John’s Secret Garlic Sauce Recipe!!!!!” and “Olive Garden Fettucine!!!” I like to think it’s what Paula Dean used to spend her time doing...