June 2011
2 posts
But He IS Into Me.
ciglvr:
You know how in He’s Just Not That Into You, Ginnifer Goodwin’s character think she’s the exception to the rule? And how dudes just have issues and would otherwise like her insane, crazy, terrifyingly co-dependent character?
That’s how I am. But I’m dating Camel Lights. Sure, EVERYONE gets cancer. But not me. I won’t get it. Because he IS into me, he’s just really scared and fucking...
Follow my new blog
As I fail at quitting smoking.
http://ciglvr.tumblr.com/
December 2010
1 post
WatchIntroducing The 40-Year-Old 20-Year-Old. We’re launching 6 episodes in January but check out this [Jew] Christmas teaser til then!
And, our website!
November 2010
1 post
Overheard on the Uptown 1 train
Guy 1 to Guy 2:
My friend was teaching some English class and was calling roll and said “La-ah?” because the was spelled L A (dash) A. Then some bitch in the back of the class stands up and goes “La-ah?! Girl, my name is LaDasha!”
Thank you, New York.
October 2010
1 post
September 2010
2 posts
“A chain-smoking lover of cats that has the decency to build them their own...”
– Tim, on my life.
CAT VILLAGE
Holy fuck. It’s a teeny village. For CATS.
August 2010
3 posts
“the one with the free hot dogs or the one where we saw the dude from cheers?”
– Leila, trying to help me identify a bar
Beaky, The BEAK-LESS Goose
Even though this goose is probably dead now (along with the 399 OTHER geese rounded up and gassed at Prospect Park), I can’t help but keep looking at its picture and gagging. It’s a goose scab.
"I'm not hugely fond of the film. I find Audrey...
natashavc:
Emma Thompson on Audrey Hepburn (via smangies)
July 2010
14 posts
“Sadly Yes He Did i know it’s hard too belive but he did but he always gave...”
– The Wikianswers page answering an age old question: Did Desi beat Lucy?
(Ladies, tell Desi you love him. Or else.)
The Future!
Jocelyn: i got cosi
Jocelyn: there was a homeless man (or maybe just crazy?) eating a shrimp cocktail there
Justin: wow. good day for him.
Jocelyn: he was ranting and raving and wearing what seemed to be a prop-closet cop hat
Justin: in other words
Jocelyn: it was me in 50 years?
Justin: you got a shrimp cocktail at cosi ... in costume
“Because I miss you means “We haven’t had much time to chat and we...”
– Nicole Drespel
Everyone needs a Leila
Jocelyn: what if they rape me
Leila: that seems improbable
Inception
halphillips:
Inception is one of those movies people theorize about, so here’s my take. I have not read about it or looked it up except to check the characters’ names, so this is based solely on what I got from watching it. Needless to say, tremendous spoilers follow for those who have not seen it.
Read More
Didn’t this movie already come out? Wasn’t it called Shutter Island??
“We would literally combine forces to become Diane Keaton”
– Justin, on our lives if we move to LA.
“Pretty damned complicated. Well since I don’t have a period, don’t have to take...”
– My dad, after reading this article about caffeine I sent him.
Shoji Mother Fucking Tabuchi
Everyone relax. We’re going on this trip together ASAP.
THE SHOJI TABUCHI SHOW!
Life planning
Leila: NO BABY
me: BABY
June 2010
4 posts
spolikeluzhate:
healywu:
willw2:
“Louisiana isn’t the only place that has shrimp,” said British Petroleum rep RandyPrescott. His office phone number is (713) 323-4093, email is randy.prescott@bp.com. Give him a call or send an email! You can tell him and BP they aren’t the only place that has fuel for your car! Please repost!
Ha, just e-mailed him. Cad.
Let’s do this.
May 2010
4 posts
My mother checks in on my uterus, via text
Mom: just saw a girl @ target who looked like u. even wore insane patterns like u but she was PREGNANT! so weird! i love you
Jocelyn: I'm not pregnant, don't worry. How was her hair?
Mom: Even long and the same bangs and pony tail -- YIKESSSSSS -- call u later.
Funding the 2nd Ave Subway?!!
The MTA has a website up to fence all the shit people leave on the subway. There are GOLF CLUBS. A VIOLIN. And… a KINDLE!!
But you have to… fax in your bid??
April 2010
6 posts
Improv Nonsense: Know Everything →
When someone on your team is making a reference to someone or something you have never heard of — a movie, or tv show, some science-fiction b.s. that does not interest you or some reality show you’ve been avoiding because you still love yourself — what do you do? The audience reacted to what was…
Well, I guess I need to spring for Time Warner. In other news, let’s all read this...
March 2010
11 posts
WatchThis is the funniest thing Jesse Lee has sent me in a long time.
CLUE HOUSE!!
There is a CLUE HOUSE. In YONKERS. Someone marry me so we can have a party there. Or, just give me money to have a party there. Or pose as my fiance and go tour it with me. This is worth it, people.
A Woman's Plight
I really wish I’d had this sports bra how-to in high school.
Also, the below from The Daily Mail, has never made bra shopping less fun:
What you should look for
Extra-soft, cushioned and wide load-bearing shoulder straps to ease pressure, and which don’t dig in.
Moulded non-stretch cups which provide maximum breast control without underwiring. If your breasts bulge either over...
Endurance
I am literally exhausted from my walk to work. This weather is like a 300-pound man who’s real real mad and has no problem hitting a lady (open palmed, of course).
“MARRY ME, EMMA THOMPSON.”
– An email from Leila Cohan.
Watchthedailywhat:
New Music Video! She & Him - “In The Sun”
First single off the duo’s sophomore effort, Volume Two — in stores 3/23.
[pitchfork.]
Every twee part of my heart just exploded.
“Oprah came to my apartment,” she says. “Oprah and Gayle were in my...”
– Tina Fey (Vogue)
February 2010
10 posts
